For Families
BEREAVED PARENTS
Is your precious little one in heaven? Do your loving arms feel the ache to hold and cradle your baby? We are so deeply sorry…the gravity of your loss is tremendous. Our hearts go out to you, and we ache for your loss. You and your baby are at the heart of why we exist as an organization. We are here to love you through this pain and offer comfort, a listening ear and to be a light in this dark storm.
We want you to know you are not alone as you face the path in front of you which is much different than the one you had imagined and planned. Your baby’s life, no matter how brief on earth, is so very important and you have found a safe place to grieve, connect with other grieving parents, heal and receive strength for this difficult journey. In-person groups are available in Coon Rapids, MN and Saint Michael, MN or you can join a Zoom meeting from wherever you live. Check out our Support page for further details. We look forward to talking with you and helping in practical and meaningful ways.
If you have found out that your baby or infant has a condition or injury they cannot survive and you must plan to say goodbye one day, please reach out to us as soon as possible! We have important, time-sensitive literature and resources we want to provide you in our GRACE Care Packages. The materials will help you navigate the many questions and decisions you will face when experiencing a molar or ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage, stillbirth, late term loss or an infant loss. We hope you will feel informed, empowered, and supported so you can go through this without all the regrets and know that help is just a phone call or email away.
We also have a variety of volunteer opportunities that can be very healing to do in memory of your baby.
If you are a grieving dad or grieving couple in need of spiritual guidance and prayer, Pastor Stephen McVicar, co-founder of Missing GRACE, heads up our Pastoral Care Department and can schedule a meeting via Zoom or in-person (when possible).
FAMILY & FRIENDS
It can be very difficult when someone close to you is grieving the loss of a baby. Often, you are grieving with them and wonder how to support them as they mourn their loss. It can be hard to find the right words. Here is a list of things to say and do that are helpful as you prepare to reach out to your bereaved friend or family member.
Depending on how close you are to the person grieving and how well you know them, you may decide between giving them time and space to heal or offering a practical helping hand. It’s normal to feel helpless though. Your friend or family member must now find a new normal. This simply means that life as they knew it has changed because of this and the death of their baby will affect them. They can’t help but be changed by this experience. Be encouraged and have hope though! They will come through and your love and support will make all the difference in the world in their healing process.
We are sorry for your loss, for this is our loss also. Grief’s ripple affect goes far and wide from the epicenter of the home of the parents who’s baby died. Friends and family all feel the shock waves and each person will be affected and will grieve in their own way.
It is important to give the parents your listening ear; to not try to fix or make things better with platitudes and to let them know you care and will never forget their baby. It is common for the grieving parents to distance themselves for a time while they go through deep grief. Just keep sending loving messages by text, by snail mail, by voicemail and through the occasional visit. Doing something is more often better than doing nothing at all.
You can show your support through giving them the gift of a GRACE Care Package. We are also just a phone call away. We take the time to listen and can help answer questions you may have.
EXPECTING PARENTS
Are you currently expecting a baby? Congratulations!! We are over the moon happy for you! We want to celebrate, encourage and uplift you. The life developing in your womb is a precious gift and miracle.
If you have had a previous pregnancy or infant loss, you may have heightened anxiety about the care during your pregnancy and birth. We understand, we've felt all those worries and had the anxious thoughts too. Contending for peace and calm in your heart and mind is definitely a challenge.
We offer education for families on how to be proactive in your prenatal care by making informed decisions and taking some of the control back by learning how to listen to your instincts and having an open relationship with your provider concerning your worries and desires during your pregnancy. One of the challenges of expecting a baby after loss is cherishing each day with the baby while pregnant and waiting to hold them in your arms. It can be difficult for some to bond with their unborn baby for fear of losing them.
This is a natural feeling after loss, but we encourage parents to try to overcome this and treasure each day and try to focus on taking one day at a time. Missing GRACE provides resources to optimize your prenatal care and birth experience to provide for a good outcome. Contact us and let us know how we can help.
Maybe you aren’t pregnant right now, but you’re thinking about having another baby after a loss. Dr. Harry Farb, MD, an Executive Board Member for Missing GRACE, has spent much of his medical career focusing on high-risk pregnancies. He volunteers his time and expertise to provide preconception counseling appointments to families served by Missing GRACE. (He encourages his clients to make a tax-deductible donation to MGF in exchange for his services.)