Stillbirth law brings peace to families

Acknowledging life

By Ben Sandell
Free Press Staff Writer
August 7th, 2005

NEW ULM ˜ Tomorrow Melanie Lemmer of New Ulm will file for a birth certificate her child never received.

Mike and Melanie Lemmer, of New Ulm hold a photograph of their son, Aidan Lee, who died at birth, Nov. 25, 2001. Melanie will file for Aidan Lee's birth certificate Monday, one week after a new Minnesota law went into effect allowing birth certificates for stillborn babies. Minnesota is the 13th state to change the law.
Aidan Lee died Nov. 25, 2001. He was declared dead 29 minutes after birth, but because he never took a breath on his own, the state never acknowledged he lived.
Parents usually get the birth certificate two to three weeks after their child is born. Two weeks came and went for Lemmer and her husband, Mike, and it came as a shock, Lemmer said, when she found out certificates are not issued for stillbirths.
She and Mike held on to the few tangible items that proved their baby was born: a lock of hair, footprints, a baby hat, a baby bracelet and a baby blanket. They put together a small baby book void of growth charts and milestones.
The parents waited 31/2 years before the law changed allowing them to get a birth certificate, a key addition to their book. They have two more weeks to wait.
"For my husband and I, it brings a little bit of closure, rightful recognition, and real dignity to our child," Lemmer said. "The birth certificate, to me, validates his life."
The new law, signed by Gov. Tim Pawlenty in May, went into effect Aug. 1. It requires that hospital staff notifies parents within five days of a stillbirth that they have the option to receive a "certificate of birth resulting in stillbirth." The law is retroactive for any Minnesota parent who ever had a stillborn baby.
For Aidan Lee Lemmer, it happened because of a placental abruption. The family was lucky to know what caused the stillbirth, Melanie Lemmer said. Many parents never know.
The new law, she said, should help stir more awareness and research about the No. 1 cause of death for infants, so maybe it will no longer be such a taboo subject.
"Stillbirth is a very touchy subject, but it happens so often, it should not be a touchy subject," she said.
Under the old law, the state would issue death certificates for stillbirth babies, which begged the question: How could someone die who has never lived?
"It was an imbalance in the record keeping," Lemmer said.
Shortly after Aidan Lee died, Lemmer began sending letters urging lawmakers to do something about the law. She wrote letters to the governor, every member of the state House, and every member of the Senate.
The main reason they put off dealing with it for so long was that it gave a false impression it was a "pro life" issue, said Sen. Ellen Anderson, D-St. Paul, chief author of the bill in the Senate. Anderson, an abortion-rights advocate, worked on the language of the bill with Sen. Michelle Bachman, R-Stillwater, an abortion opponent. (Rep. Karen Klinzing, R-Woodbury, helped push the bill through the House.)
"The issue raises all kinds of complex legal, philosophical and political questions," Anderson said. For the parents, however, it pretty much came down to one thing: acknowledgment.
Many parents came to Anderson with compelling stories, she said.
"As a mom, I certainly understood how losing a baby would be such a horrible thing," Anderson said.
As far as any local efforts to get the bill passed, there was very little, Lemmer said.
It was the work of Candy McVicar, of Maple Grove, that really brought the issue forward.
McVicar's daughter, Grace, was born Dec. 20, 2001, and died because of a velamentous cord problem that was not identified in time.
McVicar started the Missing GRACE organization, which helps families who have experienced similar tragedies. She sent family stories, including the Lemmers' story, to every state politician. She lobbied hard and eventually garnered bipartisan support for the law, which passed unanimously in both the House and Senate this spring.
When Pawlenty signed the bill, McVicar was present, as were Melanie and Mike Lemmer.
Lemmer gave birth to her fourth child this year. But the memory of her third child has not faded.
"I miss every milestone that goes by," she said. "He was a baby I held in my arms, a full-on human being, with big brown eyes, his daddy's fingers, my cheek bones and my nose. I deserve to have a birth certificate for him."